


Hop or Flight

by P0pp3t



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Just bros talking about bunnies and sparrows, The untagged three mercs only appear briefly, no beta I have no friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29997243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/P0pp3t/pseuds/P0pp3t
Summary: "How much are ye bettin' that it's gon' die tomorrow?"Just six men arguing about pets.
Kudos: 11





	Hop or Flight

**Author's Note:**

> Another one for my nerves. Surprisingly, writing helps me calm down :,)

"So, y'all are sayin' you'd like a bunny instead?" Engineer questioned after taking a gulp of beer.

"Well, yeah. Those puffy critters are great pets! I don't keep one for long since they're easy prey, livin' in my van, but it'd be nice to keep one permanently someday, after retiring." Sniper replied. "I agree! If I didn't already have raccoons within my ranks, I would've recruited a bunch of them! They can bite ankles!" Soldier added excitedly. The light that came from the bonfire made him look more sinister.

Engineer carefully placed the bottle by his foot. He stretched and yawned, his guitar steady on his lap. "I guess you're right. Didn't take you lot for the soft, cuddly types." He ignored the other two's stares and continued.

"I prefer birds, though. Specifically house sparrows. Pyro here loves 'em, too!" Pyro nodded and made a bird with their hands. "Mmmmr mmll, mmmmle!" "Cute lil' things, like rabbits!"

"They're noisy as hell, though. Ever had one nest on your backyard?" Scout rebutted. "Eh, I can live with that." "I don't think so." Sniper joked and took a stick, impaling a marshmallow. "You get angry every time someone makes 'some garsh darn noise' in front your room." He mimicked mockingly.

"Unlike y'all, it'd be like my own son. Each and everyone of ya are adults." Engineer copied Sniper, a bit hard with the guitar in his possession. "A man needs his sleep. Chirping's like a pattern, Soldier screamin' at random durin' the early mornin' is not." He drawled. "Fair." Scout responded, finishing the third marshmallow he had for the night.

"How about you, Heavy?" Heavy turned to Engineer on his right. "Don't know. Both is cute. Would like to bring one to sisters, but, cold mountains not good for pet." "Aw, man. Being in the mountains must suck." "Little man, it's not so bad. After you live for years, you'll be strong, like sisters." Scout took a bite of his fourth marshmallow. "Now I'm kinda scared imaginin' what your sisters would look like..." "Definitely bigger than you, да."

"Mo, mmo mmmikes mmmds, mmo mmmikes mmmees. Mms mm mie?" Pyro said, raising both of their hands, doing a peace sign on both. "Wait, why just twos? There's 6 of us, Py." "Well Heavy didn't choose one of 'em, and I thought you hated pets?" "I-I don't! Look, it's just hard to take care of them!" He glanced between the other mercenaries and sighed. "Do I really have to choose?" "Affirmative! Now pick one!" Looking around again, he finally made his decision.

"Bunnies."

"Of course he'd answer that!" Sniper chortled.

The next day, Pyro received a package with holes. They quickly handled it with care and placed it on the floor of the rec room. Sniper precisely cut through the box. Soldier was crouching behind him, shaking with more enthusiasm than usual. Heavy and Engineer stood at the side, supervising just in case something goes wrong. A bunny suddenly jumped out and inspected the six men around it.

"How much are ye bettin' that it's gon' die tomorrow?" Demoman whispered to Medic and Spy, watching the other six faun over the creature. "Fifty." Medic quickly replied. Spy smirked. "A hundred." Demoman laughed. "Gettin' cocky, are we?"

**Author's Note:**

> "They're well, adorable!"  
> "So, two likes birds, two likes bunnies. It's a tie?"


End file.
